As I write this, I’ve been unemployed for approx 48hrs. I’m not sure how I feel. A little lost, perhaps.

There was to be a changeover in companies. I was effectively made redundant from the one losing the contract, then work on a self employed basis for the one taking over the contract. Are you still with me? I wouldn’t blame you if you were asleep to be honest.

Anyway, my boss was to stay the same. I like my boss. We get on well. But sometimes I felt that they needed a person they could vent their frustrations on. A whipping boy if you like. Well previously, the whipping boy has been someone who worked for the old firm. As the changes got closer however, I noticed a change in the wording of emails. Only slight, and if I hadn’t been nervous about the situation I would probably never have noticed it. But I was. And I did.

I had spoken to lovely man about my concerns on long telephone conversations, with me worrying about the future and him telling me he was sure it would be fine and I was worrying over nothing. I agreed and tried to put it out of my mind, although I just couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that all wasnt well….

So last Thursday was my last day with my old company. Waving goodbye to job security, holidays and sick pay to embark on a voyage of self discovery employment…..

As I waited for Stroppy 3 to come out of school I chatted to lovely man who happened to be with me, drank a coffee and read some of the latest book uploaded to my Kindle. She came out and we pulled away – then my phone pinged. An email had arrived. As I was driving I asked lovely man to see who it was from and read it to me. It was from my boss. The curtness was cutting. It didn’t help that I was in a lot of pain anyway but I carried on driving, tears in my eyes, stung by the words.

Then Stroppy 3 spoke. “We were talking about that today in school Mummy”. “What darling?” I replied. “Well, the teacher said that if someone’s bullying you then you should tell them no, it’s not right & they’re not allowed to do it”.

I was gobsmacked to be honest and burst into tears. Even my 7 year old could hear the bullying undertones in the message. Lovely man tried to calm me, but I’d had enough and as soon as we got home I replied to the email saying I was not going to take any new contract and this was a perfect time to cut ties.

So here I am, writing this as a statistic. One of the 2 million odd unemployed. I could play the disabled card and stay at home not working, but I’m not. I have an appointment with an employment advisor this week.

Wish me luck…..