Since Stroppy 3 started at her ‘big school’ at the ripe old age of three, I have formed new but strong friendships with a few of the other mums.
Had you put the new mums all in a row and had to group them, we definitely wouldn’t have been put together. But it’s happened naturally, and over time – 5 years now, has grown stronger.
I don’t like to think of us as a clique. It’s just that our personalities blend nicely so we intuitively get on. There are a few mums who, despite having been there from the start, just don’t seem to fit .Perhaps again, it’s a personality thing. I’m not sure. I’ve tried my best to include them, organising evenings out, picnics in the holidays, things like that. But they’re just not interested. I lie actually. One of them has started making more of an effort and has been to the last couple of meals we’ve had together. She’s lovely, but I think a little insecure which she tries to cover with aloofness. I’m pleased that she is beginning to come out and have fun with us – long may it continue 🙂
We do have one problem however. Two of the mums don’t get on with each other. At all. It has gotten to the stage where we can’t have a meal out and invite both of them. We now have coffee one week and invite one of them, then the next week it will be the other one. It’s quite awkward to be honest. Last time we were having a coffee with one of them and the other rang.
We went into panic! (Well I did….) Oh My God! What do we do? Do we answer? Do we not? One of the mums saved us the worry and answered her phone, telling the mum that she was having a coffee with the other one. You would think by the way we behaved that we were 13 again. From then on we’ve decided not to lie about it – we’re just going to tell them we’re having coffee with the other.
So yesterday, Lovely Man, myself and Stroppy 3 were invited to someone’s house for a BBQ. We have been trying to organise this for ever. It finally happened, and the rain held off (although we were well covered). It was a fantastic evening. There were only 5 families there, including the hosts, and all five children get on very well. The food was amazing and the conversation flowed, as did the wine 😉
Despite how lovely the evening was, it was slightly awkward because one family were missing. They each tolerate us having coffee with the ‘enemy’, but having a dinner party with them would be like taking sides! We would never be forgiven – the problem however, lies with the children. We can’t stop them talking in the playground about what they did over the weekend. And why should they?
Also, it means that when we do things in a group, one child misses out which just isn’t fair. We don’t just visit each others houses or go for coffee. If we were, then it wouldn’t be so bad. But we go to theme parks, take the children to the theatre etc. I feel bad when I know we are taking them for a special treat and that the child not coming knows about it. if it were me, I would be doing my level best to sort it out, and in her defence, one of them has tried – only for it to be thrown back in her face.
So while at the BBQ I told the mum who was there that the other mum had organised a coffee date, and that I was going. She seemed fine with it – although that didn’t last as she started demanding the other mums tell her if they had been invited or were going. I thought for a minute she was going to throw a tantrum – I’m afraid she’s just going to have to get on with it!
Does the same thing happen at every school? I’m pretty sure it does….